Footlong
by Shawne 'til dawn
Summary: A double date leads to frustration and misunderstanding for Hutch.


**Disclaimer**: This story was written purely for entertainment and is not for profit. It is not meant to trespass in any way on the holders to the rights of Starsky and Hutch.

_A/N: Aloha Everyone,_

_This is just a humorous snippet written for Brook. I swear her mind goes non-stop. I also needed to shed a little "light" to take me away from the dark overtones of "The Chosen" for even for just for a little bit, but I promise you, dear reader, that you will get Chapter 3 real soon. Until then, enjoy this small morsel._

_Love and light . . . Shawne'Til Dawn_

~Foot-long~

She flew down the steps to her apartment, smiling as saw him standing there in his faded form-fitting blue jeans, light blue tee-shirt accentuating the stunning sapphire color in his eyes. Terry paused, then hurried along. Even now, the sight of her handsome man stole her breath away and she thanked God for the blessing that was David Starsky.

Behind him, the sky was a muted wash of orange, pink and purple; a light evening breeze gently ruffled Starsky's soft, sable curls as he stood there waiting, one had holding open the back door to the slightly rusted and battered LTD, the other hand extended out towards her. She could see that his eyes sparkled with excitement and then grew soft with the fondness and love he felt for his lady.

"Heeey," Starsky greeted softly, the color in his eyes picking up the lavender hues of twilight that painted the skies above. "Your chariot awaits!" The brunet chuckled when he heard his lady give an undignified snort and then leaning over, he kissed Terry lightly on the cheek, gallantly helping her into the car. "I'll have you know, schweetheart, that I spent a good half an hour helping Hutch clean out the junkyard he had back here just so we could have a place to sit."

"I bet!" Terry laughed, scooting over so that Starsky could climb in beside her. Grinning, Terry leaned towards the man she adored and whispered, "Don't worry babe, I got my tetanus shot!"

"I heard that!" Hutch said indignantly from the front seat behind the wheel, making the foursome laugh out loud at his car's expense.

"Hey guys!" Terry smiled, her own eyes twinkling with excitement as she reached over the bench seat to give Hutch a kiss and then a hug to Christine. "So what movie we seeing tonight, huh?" Terry smiled then slid over to slip her arms around Starsky's waist, laying her cheek against his firm chest, closing her eyes as she listened intently to the calming beat of his heart over the loud, grumbling whine of the car starting up. Her smile grew wider as she felt the dark haired detective gently press his warm lips against the crown of her head.

Hutch pulled away from the curb, glancing at the couple in the backseat through his rearview mirror. "Hey, hey," the blond chided, "None of that allowed here . . . no snuggling, or kissing, or making out allowed in the presence of minors!"

Christine laughed and elbowed the handsome blond in the ribs, "Speak for yourself, honey, I wanna watch them make out. This is way better than the movie you picked!"

Terry grinned and pulled away from her boyfriend's warm embrace. "Yeah . . . you never answered me, Hutch. Just what movie are we seeing at the drive-in tonight?" the spunky teacher inquired.

"Yeah, Hutch. Tell Terry what movie you picked!" Starsky spoke up, leaning forward to fold his arms along the back of the bench seat like Terry was doing. "She's gonna love this!"

"Oh no!" Terry said in dismay as she squinted her eyes and glared at the curly haired brunet. "Don't tell me . . . it's not a horror flick is it?"

"Audrey Rose!" Hutch said with a grin, light blue eyes lifting from the road to glance at the petite teacher in the back. "Heard it was a good movie."

"Audrey Ro . . . you gotta be kiddin' me?" Terry blew her bangs up in exasperation. "Isn't that the one about the kid who thinks she's reincarnated or something?"

"Yup," Hutch nodded as he turned the wheel to enter into the semi-filled drive-in. "It stars Marsha Mason and Anthony Hopkins . . ." the blond detective said, eyeing the lot to find the best parking stall for movie viewing.

"I hate when they use kids in these kind of horror movies," Terry muttered.

"Aww honey," Starsky gently pulled his pouting lady back until she lay cuddled against him. "I told that big old mean blond that you didn't like shows like that, but he never listens to me. C'mere . . . let me make it all better."

"See?" Christine nudged her boyfriend as he pulled into an available stall close to the snack bar. "You should'a listened to Dave."

"What is this? Pick on the blond night?" Hutch grumped good-naturedly, throwing his car into park and then turning off the engine. The golden haired detective smiled as his attractive girlfriend leaned over to kiss him on the lips, only to break apart suddenly at the shrill scream that came from behind them.

"Stop it, Dave!" Terry laughed as she scolded the rambunctious brunet who rhythmically curled his fingers in preparation for his infamous tickle torture. "Don't you dare . . . I'm warning you . . ." Terry giggled, screaming as Starsky made a lunge for her.

"Alright you two, that's enough rough housing back there," Hutch chided, turning around in his seat to point his finger at the wrestling adults. "Terry move over by the window right now and Starsk, go get the speaker so that I can hang it up here on my window," Hutch directed.

"Yes sir!' Terry sat straight up and saluted the domineering blond. A twinkle lighted her eyes as she glanced at her dark haired partner in crime. "You heard the man . . . get a move on it, Dave."

"Yes ma'am," the brunet drawled, leaning over to kiss his lady on the lips before struggling to open the temperamental door. A hard kick helped remedy the situation, and Starsky quickly hopped out, ignoring the angry protests against vehicular abuse coming from his partner. A lopsided grin plastered the curly haired cop's face as he returned and he and Hutch fumbled with the speaker while Terry and Christine chatted and talked about their day.

It was dark now and the drive-in lot was nearly full, people coming and going as they got their munchies from the snack bar a several yards away. A few previews were flashing across the giant screen and Hutch smiled as he felt Christine snuggling against his side. The tall blond slouched down and shifted to get more comfortable, gently running his fingers along the soft, smooth contours of his girl's arm the whole time.

"Hey," Starsky said, cobalt blue eyes excitedly following the parade of soda cups, hot dogs and popcorn dancing across the screen, advertising a visit to the snack bar. "We forgot to grab some munchies! You guys want anything from there? Me and Terry can pick something up for you guys too," the brunet offered.

"Nah," Hutch said after seeing Christine shake her head, "We just had dinner not too long ago, but you guys go ahead. Hurry back though, the movie's gonna start already." The car shook slightly as the Starsky and Terry left and Hutch smiled as he felt Christine lean into his side once more. He pulled her even closer, sighing with happiness as she tickled his ear with the tip of her tongue. The tall blond snorted then leaned down to kiss the brunette gently on the lips.

_Movies were great, but it was what came after a movie that made the night . . ._

The opening credits had started and the movie was well on its way when Starsky and Terry returned to the car, loaded down with their snacks. "We're back, did we miss anythin' good?"

"Nah, it just started. What ch'ya got? Hutch asked disinterestedly, not even caring to hear the answer. His mind was already lost in the movie, light blue eyes never leaving the screen as the couple climbed in behind him.

"Just some buttered popcorn. We gonna share a drink, right honey?" Starsky murmured from behind.

Hutch frowned, straining to hear the dialogue between the characters on the large screen; trying with all his might to tune out the quiet giggling going on as the brunet and his lady settled down in the back. The blond turned the volume up a bit and then settled back again to watch the show, smiling down once at Christine who rolled her eyes.

As the movie progressed, Hutch could feel the sudden tension building as the ominous music coming from the film picked up its volume, heralding something evil and scary about to happen in the flick. He could feel Christine squeeze his hand in anticipation, hiding her eyes, peeping out between her fingers.

"_Crunch, crunch, crunch."_

Hutch frowned, unable to keep his focus on the screen as his ears picked up the noise from behind him. For a second, he had almost thought it was some weird sound effect from the movie before Hutch realized it was just his partner's loud chewing of popcorn.

"_Slurrrrrrrp!"_

The exasperated blond sighed loudly and turned up the volume once more, hoping his hungry partner would catch the hint.

"Shhhh, Dave, chew with your mouth closed! Hutch and Christine can't hear!"

Hutch grinned as he heard the whispered reminder from Terry, and he settled back once more, trying to piece together what he missed. Yet the quiet whispers behind him continued to drag his focus back to the couple sitting close together on the back seat. Hutch shifted his eyes to the rearview mirror trying to see what they were doing, but it was dark and all he could make out was their bowed heads, curly dark locks and light brown wisps of hair mingled together as one. Hutch blinked, catching himself staring at the mirror, then he quickly shifted his eyes to the screen. Though Hutch returned his gaze to the movie, he couldn't help but overhear Terry's anxious whisper . . .

"It's way too big, Dave . . . I don't think . . ."

"Just open your mouth wider," Starsky whispered back. " Okay, wait. Unngh, we're in the wrong position. Here, uungh, let me just shift over a little bit and . . ."

"Oh my God, Dave! It's … it's dripping!"

Hutch tensed and glanced down at Christine, but the brunette seemed to be engrossed with the movie, unaware of the sudden tension in her boyfriend spurred on by the quiet commotion coming from the back."

"Give me a napkin . . ." Terry hissed

"No, jus' . . . jus' lick it. Swirl your tongue around the tip. Yeah, just like that. See no mess! You got some great tongue action goin' there, hon!"

Hutch rolled his eyes as the giggling ensued. He could just imagine what was going on behind him. The soft nudge against his ribs made him look down into Christine's wide eyes, the brunette now listening intently along with her boyfriend. Hutch winked reassuringly, and then cleared his throat loudly.

"Shhhhhh, Dave!" Terry giggled softly. "You're making too much noise. Quiet down or else they'll hear you."

Hutch glanced into the mirror once more, straining to see anything that would confirm his suspicions. But the couple behind, him were once again whispering with their heads together, blocking their faces from view. Hutch shook his head and shrugged at Christine's silent question. After a few seconds of silence from their friends in the back, both Hutch and Christine returned their attention to the screen.

After a few minutes of being totally engrossed in the film, a quiet snort, then a soft gasp and hushed giggles drew Hutch's attention away from the movie once more. Though his eyes remained fixed on the screen, his mind drifted to the going-ons behind him.

"I said it's too big! I swear it's gotta be more than a foot long . . ." Terry whispered, surprise and awe tingeing her quiet voice.

He could hear Starsky breathing hard in exasperation. "Look, jus' . . . jus' nibble the end. If you take it slow, I know you can eventually swallow the whole thing."

"Yeah, right! In your dreams! I'm a tiny girl, and tiny girls have tiny throats. I might . . . I might choke!"

"Jus' open your mouth wider and let me do the work. I'll just shove it in slowly, one inch at a time." Starsky breathed softly. "Here just lick over there before it drips!"

"MMMM," Terry moaned softly. "Tastes sooo good! Never knew I would be so hungry for it!"

Again, quiet snickers filled the car and Hutch was so tempted to turn around and take a quick peek behind him, but a jab in the side from Christine and the quick negative shake of her head made the blond settle down once more.

Though he tried hard to focus on little Audrey Rose and the plight she was going through, hot sexual thoughts filled his mind and Hutch inconspicuously shifted the material in his crotch area to loosen the sudden tightness he felt in the front of his corduroys. He could feel his face reddening with a hot blush and he was so very thankful that it was dark in the car.

The shame-faced blond quickly glanced down at his girl and saw her knowing look. Christine winked and gently laid her warm hand upon her guy's hefty girth making Hutch gasp softly with want. His light blue eyes grew intense as he lowered his head to kiss the beautiful brunette, passion flaring between them as Hutch gently reached in and cupped his lady's breast in the palm of his hand, making Christine moan softly in turn.

"Hey, hey!" Starsky loudly butt in, leaning over the edge of the front seat, a huge lopsided grin spreading over his face as sapphire eyes twinkled mischievously. "None of that allowed here . . . no snuggling, or kissing, or making out allowed in the presence of minors! Remember?"

"Wha' . . ." Hutch sputtered as Christine tore her lips away from his, quickly sliding over to her side of the door, pulling up the neck of her blouse, cheeks stained red in embarrassment. Hutch turned to glare at his chuckling partner.

"I saaaid, 'None of that allowed here . . . no snuggling, or kissing, or making out allowed in the presence of minors! Remember? It's your rules, Blondie!'"

"I heard you the first time, moron!" Hutch growled. "But what the hell . . . it's not like you guys weren't going at it in the backseat."

"What?" Terry said, poking her head over the front seat. "What are you talking about, Hutch?"

"Oh please," Christine smirked. "Don't act all innocent with us. You guys were like two hot, rabidly horny hamsters going for a spin on the wheel!"

"What?" Terry reiterated; eyes widening in dawning understanding before the petite teacher burst out in sudden laughter. "Oh my, God! You're kidding right?"

"What?" Hutch and Christine retorted indignantly.

"Yeah, what? I don't get it?" Starsky chimed in, confusion evident in his shining blue eyes that made Terry laugh even harder at her adorable kid-like man. "They thought we were . . ." Laughter bubbled once again from the petite lady who sat beside the curly haired cop and Starsky drew in a breath as everything suddenly made sense.

The brunet snorted, "Don't tell me Blintz, you thought me and Terry was . . ." Starsky pointed between him and Terry, his face registering shock.

"Well, it sure sounded like you guys were doing the wild thing back there!" Hutch interjected. "I mean c'mon Starsk; Terry was saying stuff like . . . "

"'It's too big' and 'I might choke'!" Christine cut in, imitating Terry's voice.

"And then you say, 'Open your mouth wider' and 'lick over there before it drips'." Hutch added. "I mean, what were we to think. You obviously was talking about . . ." The blond stopped his tirade, his mouth dropping open in a silent "O" shape as Terry held up the half eaten, six-inch hot dog covered in mustard and ketchup.

"Oh." Christine said softly, a blush spreading over her cheeks. She shifted her eyes to look at Hutch who turned even redder than before.

Starsky feigned a frown, brows drawing together though his eyes still twinkled with suppressed mirth. "I'm surprised at you Hutch!" The brunet shook his head as if disappointed at the blond and Terry's lips quivered as she tried to hide a grin. "I mean, we're supposed to be the best of friends right? And friends always think the best of each other . . . don't they,Terry?"

"Uh-huh!" Terry nodded, turning her solemn eyes to look at Christine and then at Hutch, both of whom squirmed uncomfortably under her penetrating stare.

Starsky sighed heavily. "You assumed that me and my lady would lower ourselves to commit an act of sexual perversion right under your noses . . . kinda like what you two were doing up there in the front?"

"Now wait a minute, buddy . . " Hutch said, holding up a warning finger.

Terry burst out laughing, unable to contain the humor she saw in this whole escapade. "You guys got horny because you were listening to me and Dave talk about a hot dog? Oh, My, God! Get a room you two!"

Starsky and Terry laughed out loud and soon Christine and Hutch were rolling in the front, gasping for air as they joined in the laughter. After a while, the four settled down, still chuckling now and then as the movie, unwatched, continued to play on the big screen,

"Look, "Terry said finally. "I haven't even seen one bit of this movie and neither has Dave."

"Well, the first 10 minutes of it was great!" Hutch quipped.

"Yeah, but then we found something more interesting to listen to," Christine giggled.

"I say we split this joint." Starsky suggested.

"I second the motion," Terry put in. "Anyway, we have that basketball game at the school tomorrow and I have to get the pom poms and drinks ready for the two teams. You think you guys will be there? I know you've both been busy with all of the recent liquor store robberies going on."

"We'll be there . . . I promise!" Starsky said, winking playfully at his lady.

"Promises, Promises, Promises," Terry said with a grin. "Best friends don't have to promise remember?"

"Well I'll make sure to drag his butt to the basketball court tomorrow bright and early," Hutch assured.

"I'm gonna hold you to it, Hutch," Terry smiled and then turned to look her man in the eye, "Just like I'm going to hold you to that date we have planned tomorrow night, Dave."

"You got it schweetheart!" the dark haired cop promised, leaning over to kiss the beautiful woman at his side.

Terry beamed as they broke away, her eyes searching the brunet's face. "I am so looking forward to tomorrow, Davey." Terry whispered. "Then after dinner, we can pick up my newspaper and a bottle of milk for your cereal from the corner store before snuggling down for the night at my place."

"Mmmm . . . I like to snuggle," Starsky said, playfully wagging his brows, pulling the small framed woman onto his lap. Terry giggled at something that Starsky whispered into her ear, then screamed as the playful brunet curled his fingers to tickle torture the captive teacher.

Hutch and Christine rolled their eyes as the blond started the car up, both of them grinning as they looked over their shoulders at the cuddling couple in the back.

"**Get a room, you two!" **

**~finis~**

**A/N:** Okay . . . um . . . I know the story kinda had a tinge of sadness at the end, huh? Sorry folks, but as I was writing this piece, I kept thinking that I wanted this story to be the "partner" to my other story entitled, "Coffee, Cream and a Spoonful of Sugar." This way, if you read this story, watch the episode, and then read the "Coffee . . ." story, then the episode "Starsky's Lady" would be framed between these two written "bookends". My little tribute to one of my favorite Starsky and Hutch episodes of all time.


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